








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 428 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1457 | 10% |
| Smokes | 6560 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 4147 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3143 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,619,828 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vic | 43% | 42 |
| #2 | The Ice-Boss | 39% | 61 |
| #3 | MARAKESH | 38% | 107 |
| #4 | D-X | 37% | 129 |
| #5 | VAMMEN | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Willebees | 29% | 62 |
| #15 | EttOne | 28% | 119 |
| #16 | Die_kwagga_vis | 27% | 198 |
| #17 | Tazerface | 26% | 58 |
| #18 | The IceBoss 2.0 | 21% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunmaster | 18 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | D-X | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Die_kwagga_vis | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | MARAKESH | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Tazerface | 8 | 0.0064 |





