








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 212 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2703 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3208 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3502 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2389 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,699 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | FESTPRZ | 49% | 45 |
| #7 | naja | 48% | 60 |
| #8 | ℍ𝕠𝕝𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣𝕘 | 41% | 46 |
| #9 | 𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕜 | 41% | 68 |
| #10 | Doktore | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marre | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skammen | 1359 | 0.31 | 36 min |
| #2 | 𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕜 | 491 | 0.33 | 14 min |
| #3 | Marre | 197 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | ℍ𝕠𝕝𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣𝕘 | 188 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | FESTPRZ | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naja | +2.09 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | skammen | +1.30 | 83 | 76 |
| #3 | aggemand | +0.87 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | FESTPRZ | +0.31 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | LAX | -0.76 | 58 | 67 |





