








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 310 | 18% |
| Smokes | 420 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 671 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 281 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,273 of utility $408 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5x Forscher | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | leo | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | Muffin | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | uwu | Anita Dick <3 | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Lilypads | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teback allice | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | uwu | Anita Dick <3 | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Muffin | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | aN | veltrix™ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | leo | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muffin | 120 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | teback allice | 95 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | shoXy | 70 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | uwu | Anita Dick <3 | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | leo | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5x Forscher | +6.38 | 55 | 56 |
| #2 | uwu | Anita Dick <3 | +3.26 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | leo | +3.24 | 74 | 46 |
| #4 | Lilypads | +3.19 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | teback allice | +0.88 | 70 | 70 |





