










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 375 | 16% |
| Smokes | 619 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 745 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 655 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,650 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5x Forscher | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | uwu | Anita Dick <3 | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Lilypads | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Muffin | 57% | 37 |
| #5 | aN | veltrix™ | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xte | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | uwu | Anita Dick <3 | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Muffin | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teback allice | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Muffin | 107 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | shoXy | 80 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | xte | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | uwu | Anita Dick <3 | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5x Forscher | +4.99 | 53 | 57 |
| #2 | uwu | Anita Dick <3 | +3.83 | 54 | 64 |
| #3 | Lilypads | +3.70 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | teback allice | +2.03 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | leo | +0.31 | 69 | 43 |





