








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3268 | 53% |
| Smokes | 1575 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 151 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 1206 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,007 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Padam | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | Vengeance | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | Icarus404 | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | Treken | 53% | 53 |
| #5 | flamming sandwhich | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flamming sandwhich | 353 | 0.52 | 8 min |
| #2 | Treken | 283 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | Padam | 241 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Vengeance | 123 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Icarus404 | 102 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flamming sandwhich | +6.11 | 79 | 77 |
| #2 | Treken | +3.83 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | Padam | +2.71 | 65 | 42 |
| #4 | UncouthAlarm49 | -1.77 | 39 | 67 |
| #5 | Vengeance | -2.60 | 30 | 35 |





