








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 945 | 32% |
| Smokes | 945 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 243 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 847 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,043 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Padam | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | Treken | 56% | 70 |
| #3 | UncouthAlarm49 | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | proxy | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | t0ne- | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | flamming sandwhich | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | iceque | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | [PG13]WoestynVis | 33% | 24 |
| #10 | RedSnickysnax | 31% | 45 |
| #11 | [PG13]Infernal_turtle | 28% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ne- | +6.06 | 98 | 66 |
| #2 | proxy | +5.95 | 92 | 64 |
| #3 | Treken | +5.38 | 69 | 49 |
| #4 | flamming sandwhich | +5.04 | 76 | 72 |
| #5 | RedSnickysnax | +3.92 | 40 | 43 |





