








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7819 | 48% |
| Smokes | 3542 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2056 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2989 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,471 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 912 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Treken | 53% | 57 |
| #11 | UncouthAlarm49 | 50% | 34 |
| #12 | Vengeance | 48% | 27 |
| #13 | pastor mboro | 44% | 18 |
| #14 | Icarus404 | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ne- | 31 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | proxy | 20 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | ✪ RIDGBAK | 11 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | cazzzq | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Treken | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ne- | 620 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | Treken | 318 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | UncouthAlarm49 | 250 | 0.37 | 5 min |
| #4 | proxy | 219 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Padam | 211 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | proxy | +3.31 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | tonesss | +2.79 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | Chilli Willi | +2.48 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | Treken | +2.35 | 62 | 50 |
| #5 | flamming sandwhich | +2.27 | 75 | 73 |





