








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2924 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2446 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1628 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1841 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $486,491 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ICY | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | hunTer | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | Hоски | 59% | 63 |
| #4 | Riwi :3 | 56% | 96 |
| #5 | SOUH SIDE | 54% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Riwi :3 | 56% | 96 |
| #5 | SOUH SIDE | 54% | 85 |
| #6 | C♡daK | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | NatE | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | Birb | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SOUH SIDE | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Riwi :3 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Birb | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Hоски | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | C♡daK | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SOUH SIDE | 538 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #2 | Riwi :3 | 402 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Birb | 251 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Hоски | 222 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | hunTer | 163 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SOUH SIDE | +2.95 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | ICY | +1.54 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | hunTer | +1.41 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | Riwi :3 | +0.89 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | C♡daK | +0.88 | 88 | 68 |





