










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3515 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1506 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1097 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1554 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,242,101 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swansea | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | Berbatov | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | stevekrumps | 55% | 99 |
| #4 | Silly Monkey | 54% | 100 |
| #5 | Aids Monkey | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | stevekrumps | 55% | 99 |
| #4 | Silly Monkey | 54% | 100 |
| #5 | Aids Monkey | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | Sir' Poop sock | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | Pisa Schitt | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silly Monkey | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Pisa Schitt | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Sir' Poop sock | 4 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | stevekrumps | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Berbatov | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pisa Schitt | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Silly Monkey | 127 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Berbatov | 121 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | stevekrumps | 115 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Swansea | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blorgus | +2.88 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | Swansea | +0.61 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | Silly Monkey | +0.57 | 66 | 46 |
| #4 | Berbatov | -0.30 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | stevekrumps | -0.65 | 52 | 49 |





