








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 431 | 31% |
| Smokes | 438 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 430 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 98 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,300 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PSALMS | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Sauce | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | Wardo | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Uhhh | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | Steven Flow | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sauce | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | Wardo | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Uhhh | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | Steven Flow | 36% | 42 |
| #6 | Ryan Hill | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sauce | 18 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Steven Flow | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Uhhh | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Wardo | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Ryan Hill | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sauce | 144 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Uhhh | 72 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ryan Hill | 24 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Wardo | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Steven Flow | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sauce | +4.05 | 60 | 56 |
| #2 | PSALMS | +3.88 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | Uhhh | +0.79 | 34 | 55 |
| #4 | Wardo | -1.94 | 16 | 53 |
| #5 | Steven Flow | -2.64 | 21 | 35 |





