








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 623 | 27% |
| Smokes | 625 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 517 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 524 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,105 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aight, fosho | 44% | 18 |
| #2 | Bananamilk | 42% | 19 |
| #3 | Sauce | 40% | 75 |
| #4 | Steven Flow | 33% | 87 |
| #5 | Uhhh | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bananamilk | 42% | 19 |
| #3 | Sauce | 40% | 75 |
| #4 | Steven Flow | 33% | 87 |
| #5 | Uhhh | 17% | 6 |
| #6 | Ryan Hill | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sauce | 18 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Steven Flow | 14 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Bananamilk | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Ryan Hill | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | aight, fosho | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sauce | 141 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ryan Hill | 61 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | aight, fosho | 51 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bananamilk | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Steven Flow | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sauce | +3.80 | 68 | 59 |
| #2 | aight, fosho | +1.40 | 41 | 63 |
| #3 | Uhhh | +1.30 | 35 | 58 |
| #4 | Ryan Hill | -0.97 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | Wardo | -2.03 | 18 | 51 |





