








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4940 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6393 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5071 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2969 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $734,887 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 693 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hy | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Mr.G | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Gyuri bácsi | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | KANKALIN on Anavar | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | kriZe222 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hy | 446 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | _nitrid_ | 171 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | VigyázzHaverMertJönCamel | 125 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | KANKALIN on Anavar | 106 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gyuri bácsi | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |





