








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Wingman | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2159 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4126 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2958 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2260 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,090 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denieru | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | fuzzyPants | 52% | 178 |
| #3 | UffeEmma - Da-Pivah //UfoFanger | 50% | 187 |
| #4 | Pleb | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | BOT Because | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | UffeEmma - Da-Pivah //UfoFanger | 50% | 187 |
| #4 | Pleb | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | BOT Because | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | Pony Slaystation | 45% | 53 |
| #7 | 1TonTimmy | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UffeEmma - Da-Pivah //UfoFanger | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | fuzzyPants | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Pleb | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | 1TonTimmy | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UffeEmma - Da-Pivah //UfoFanger | 437 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | fuzzyPants | 389 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Pleb | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | 1TonTimmy | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Denieru | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1TonTimmy | +2.64 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | Funky_chicken | +1.35 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | BOT Because | +1.17 | 61 | 56 |
| #4 | fuzzyPants | +0.87 | 50 | 81 |
| #5 | UffeEmma - Da-Pivah //UfoFanger | -0.86 | 47 | 70 |





