








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 130 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1187 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3192 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3717 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2981 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,446 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UffeEmma - Da-Pivah //UfoFanger | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | am1r | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | p4veN | 54% | 200 |
| #4 | qvazA | 54% | 253 |
| #5 | myriZzzle | 53% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | myriZzzle | 53% | 247 |
| #6 | Denieru | 52% | 303 |
| #7 | Funky_chicken | 47% | 30 |
| #8 | JÆBBE | 44% | 57 |
| #9 | fuzzyPants | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denieru | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | myriZzzle | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | p4veN | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | qvazA | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | am1r | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4veN | 595 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Denieru | 497 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #3 | myriZzzle | 241 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | qvazA | 161 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | UffeEmma - Da-Pivah //UfoFanger | 144 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Because | +2.04 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | qvazA | +1.92 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | p4veN | +0.20 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | Funky_chicken | -0.13 | 60 | 66 |
| #5 | fuzzyPants | -1.00 | 46 | 82 |





