








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1315 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1532 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1343 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1788 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,673 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk | 66% | 97 |
| #2 | - j c s | 66% | 93 |
| #3 | francas | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Spinkxey | 63% | 79 |
| #5 | Hasse Karlsson | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | - j c s | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Majjgaard | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Joakiiiimmm | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Hugers^ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | - j c s | 271 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | honk | 217 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Spinkxey | 203 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Joakiiiimmm | 100 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Majjgaard | 93 | 0.06 | 2 min |





