








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 621 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3659 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4219 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3156 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3700 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,725 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasse Karlsson | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | honk | 67% | 107 |
| #3 | Spinkxey | 66% | 67 |
| #4 | BurgirB0b | 66% | 93 |
| #5 | francas | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joakiiiimmm | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Kalabaliiki | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | honk | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Hugers^ | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | BurgirB0b | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalabaliiki | 696 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | Joakiiiimmm | 521 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | honk | 275 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Spinkxey | 204 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | BurgirB0b | 140 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk | +4.27 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | DEX=DDD | +3.02 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | - j c s | +3.00 | 86 | 73 |
| #4 | francas | +0.78 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | MIAMIVASA | +0.74 | 62 | 55 |





