








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 992 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Renown | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1197 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1603 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1560 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 580 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,157,217 of utility $273 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 971 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hellfire | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Joyce ♥ Onyx | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | phu | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | ItsJustWolff | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | AloofPolo | 56% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | phu | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | ItsJustWolff | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | AloofPolo | 56% | 95 |
| #6 | REVY | 53% | 206 |
| #7 | N4T1ON | 34% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N4T1ON | 12 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | REVY | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | AloofPolo | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | phu | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Joyce ♥ Onyx | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AloofPolo | 467 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | REVY | 323 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | phu | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | N4T1ON | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ItsJustWolff | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phu | +3.69 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | Hellfire | +2.40 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | ItsJustWolff | +2.02 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | REVY | +0.22 | 55 | 47 |
| #5 | K_M | -0.44 | 41 | 38 |





