








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 339 | 35% |
| Smokes | 184 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 362 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,808 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0pium | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | TryOn | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | r0zyy | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | Gyokeres. | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | Dzony | 56% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | r0zyy | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | Gyokeres. | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | Dzony | 56% | 55 |
| #6 | young mintaj | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | Hubiskus | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dzony | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | r0zyy | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Gyokeres. | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | 0pium | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | young mintaj | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dzony | 200 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | r0zyy | 76 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gyokeres. | 28 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | young mintaj | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | 0pium | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TryOn | +4.21 | 61 | 66 |
| #2 | Dzony | +2.08 | 50 | 71 |
| #3 | Kutas dusiciel | +1.52 | 75 | 44 |
| #4 | r0zyy | +0.67 | 62 | 44 |
| #5 | young mintaj | -0.09 | 52 | 49 |





