








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3608 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3879 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2756 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3062 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $557,548 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ni v as | 46% | 24 |
| #2 | zeast.... | 40% | 68 |
| #3 | BOOSTERV2 | 37% | 84 |
| #4 | F4lex | 33% | 48 |
| #5 | EST | XyphoZ | 33% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EST | XyphoZ | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | itzVrR- | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | BOOSTERV2 | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | zeast.... | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | F4lex | 7 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOOSTERV2 | 351 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | zeast.... | 202 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | F4lex | 154 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | itzVrR- | 86 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Oikain | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F4lex | +4.38 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | zeast.... | +3.17 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | BOOSTERV2 | +2.57 | 74 | 47 |
| #4 | Ni v as | +1.42 | 35 | 26 |
| #5 | Oikain | -0.39 | 64 | 29 |





