








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1054 | 28% |
| Smokes | 834 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 875 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,206 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BOOSTERV2 | 40% | 50 |
| #8 | JR_3K | 39% | 23 |
| #9 | zeast.... | 38% | 48 |
| #10 | Bjurke | 33% | 12 |
| #11 | Admiralen | 24% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeast.... | 10 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | BOOSTERV2 | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | F4lex | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | JR_3K | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | itzVrR- | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOOSTERV2 | 192 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | zeast.... | 161 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | F4lex | 153 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Admiralen | 138 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | EST | XyphoZ | 81 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F4lex | +4.33 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | Carøe | +3.33 | 47 | 62 |
| #3 | zeast.... | +2.56 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | JR_3K | +1.40 | 82 | 42 |
| #5 | BOOSTERV2 | +0.97 | 72 | 46 |





