








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 922 | 26% |
| Smokes | 767 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1028 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 865 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $280,944 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cross | 140 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Leidenschaft für Scheidensaft | 95 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | AufSwiffer | 66 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | StaubWedel | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zappron | 33 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leidenschaft für Scheidensaft | +4.66 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | Cool like a custom Noob | +4.62 | 92 | 37 |
| #3 | StaubWedel | +3.41 | 97 | 35 |
| #4 | AufSwiffer | +3.00 | 81 | 60 |
| #5 | Zappron | +2.86 | 87 | 61 |





