








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1177 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 525 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1156 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,908 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isaac(arti) Ne(minem)wton | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Vittusaatana | 51% | 189 |
| #3 | se jugurtti mies/カード | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | Finga | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | TestoHjallis | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isaac(arti) Ne(minem)wton | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Vittusaatana | 51% | 189 |
| #3 | se jugurtti mies/カード | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | Finga | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | TestoHjallis | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vittusaatana | 89 | 0.0265 |
| #2 | se jugurtti mies/カード | 17 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | TestoHjallis | 14 | 0.0210 |
| #4 | Isaac(arti) Ne(minem)wton | 8 | 0.0297 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vittusaatana | 512 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | se jugurtti mies/カード | 182 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Finga | 67 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Isaac(arti) Ne(minem)wton | 50 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #5 | TestoHjallis | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vittusaatana | +5.17 | 86 | 42 |
| #2 | TestoHjallis | +2.31 | 62 | 18 |
| #3 | se jugurtti mies/カード | +0.01 | 57 | 41 |
| #4 | Isaac(arti) Ne(minem)wton | -2.57 | 31 | 13 |
| #5 | Nikuli | -2.60 | 42 | 40 |





