








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 239 | 33% |
| Smokes | 100 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 197 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 185 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,601 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Narkkikarkki | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Nikuli | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | jumttu | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | CYANBZ25 | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | '' | 16% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Narkkikarkki | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Nikuli | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | jumttu | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | CYANBZ25 | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | '' | 16% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | '' | 17 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | Narkkikarkki | 9 | 0.0570 |
| #3 | jumttu | 4 | 0.0357 |
| #4 | Nikuli | 3 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikuli | 113 | 0.41 | 2 min |
| #2 | Narkkikarkki | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | '' | 24 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | CYANBZ25 | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | jumttu | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Narkkikarkki | +17.14 | 97 | 53 |
| #2 | '' | +0.78 | 56 | 11 |
| #3 | jumttu | -0.10 | 54 | 21 |
| #4 | CYANBZ25 | -0.54 | 23 | 46 |
| #5 | Nikuli | -1.23 | 29 | 46 |





