










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 659 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




166 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 726 | 6% |
| Smokes | 2478 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5246 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 3671 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,364,015 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piponsme | 1001 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | -H.SkyZ | 621 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | Alvinroow❤ | 358 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Konix_ | 216 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Naymos | 197 | 0.17 | 5 min |





