








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 290 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13109 | 25% |
| Smokes | 14895 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 9295 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 14739 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,879,791 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | final186 | 48% | 165 |
| #7 | DannyTheReal | 48% | 185 |
| #8 | housearzt | 46% | 912 |
| #9 | Addi | 44% | 78 |
| #10 | xXDerLöffelXx | 38% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXDerLöffelXx | 56 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | housearzt | 29 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | senZa | 20 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Willi_PeekmeBlyat | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | InYourFace8 | 11 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InYourFace8 | 702 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | xXDerLöffelXx | 638 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | final186 | 371 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | DannyTheReal | 309 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Willi_PeekmeBlyat | 303 | 0.14 | 8 min |





