








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2258 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3540 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3888 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,290,842 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | housearzt | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | InYourFace8 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Addi | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Ackermann | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | DannyTheReal | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ackermann | 459 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | InYourFace8 | 414 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | final186 | 105 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | DannyTheReal | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Miggel | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |





