








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 404 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 184 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1927 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3920 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 805 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,049,992 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Kailon | 50% | 150 |
| #11 | Smacks | 49% | 69 |
| #12 | Dredd | 48% | 114 |
| #13 | .Empty | 47% | 34 |
| #14 | M!xxed.^' | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dredd | 281 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kailon | 161 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Meister Fynk | 148 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | TanTos | 133 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Farid Flashbang | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |





