








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 752 | 25% |
| Smokes | 307 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1401 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 524 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,754 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 475 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koenigsegg | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | TBone | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Cofee Monkey | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | sympetaly | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | dronks big brolic fat dude | 43% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sympetaly | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | dronks big brolic fat dude | 43% | 136 |
| #6 | Ron Jennings | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | Steve François | 42% | 69 |
| #8 | weakbox ★ | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve François | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | dronks big brolic fat dude | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | weakbox ★ | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Koenigsegg | 4 | 0.0122 |
| #5 | sympetaly | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dronks big brolic fat dude | 361 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Steve François | 165 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ron Jennings | 162 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cofee Monkey | 126 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | weakbox ★ | 109 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Jennings | +11.37 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | Cofee Monkey | +8.55 | 69 | 76 |
| #3 | sympetaly | +1.32 | 68 | 35 |
| #4 | Steve François | +1.26 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | dronks big brolic fat dude | -0.62 | 40 | 52 |





