










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3637 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3270 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1593 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2900 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $906,237 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBone | 69% | 48 |
| #2 | Steve François | 65% | 54 |
| #3 | dronks big brolic fat dude | 63% | 56 |
| #4 | Matteo Witrago | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | Doty™ | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weakbox ★ | 17 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | xlvck | 15 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | Matteo Witrago | 12 | 0.0308 |
| #4 | terry | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | TBone | 7 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weakbox ★ | 466 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | dronks big brolic fat dude | 173 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | xlvck | 156 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | terry | 146 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Steve François | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cofee Monkey | +6.44 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | Steve François | +0.52 | 70 | 44 |
| #3 | Doty™ | -0.35 | 52 | 43 |
| #4 | weakbox ★ | -0.54 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | xlvck | -1.06 | 60 | 38 |





