








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Wingman | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3944 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3379 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4977 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4312 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,913,007 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1556 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VitaminSiuuuuu | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | melinaa181 | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | IT | mannimitdembenz | 46% | 71 |
| #4 | Scorpion | 44% | 80 |
| #5 | Kris | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | IT | mannimitdembenz | 46% | 71 |
| #4 | Scorpion | 44% | 80 |
| #5 | Kris | 41% | 54 |
| #6 | SW | Rainer-Talmud | 40% | 60 |
| #7 | ℭasper :Þ αƘα Mя. Ƙ𝖠υ𝘡 | 40% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scorpion | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | ℭasper :Þ αƘα Mя. Ƙ𝖠υ𝘡 | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | VitaminSiuuuuu | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | IT | mannimitdembenz | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Kris | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scorpion | 271 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kris | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | VitaminSiuuuuu | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ℭasper :Þ αƘα Mя. Ƙ𝖠υ𝘡 | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | IT | mannimitdembenz | 68 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VitaminSiuuuuu | +9.02 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Kris | +1.67 | 57 | 51 |
| #3 | IT | mannimitdembenz | +1.63 | 71 | 36 |
| #4 | Scorpion | +0.41 | 43 | 55 |
| #5 | IT | Zum | -0.45 | 55 | 40 |





