








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1091 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2833 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3930 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3599 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4122 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,734,352 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiyweo | 11 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | le tenz. | 10 | 0.0204 |
| #3 | Dolceus | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | TenZoO | je cheat pas | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | ..labER.. | 4 | 0.0035 |





