








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 29% |
| Smokes | 495 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 457 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 471 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,734 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hot chick | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Admiral Akbar | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Lexa | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | murloc ⭕⃤ | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hot chick | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Admiral Akbar | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Lexa | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | murloc ⭕⃤ | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Admiral Akbar | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Admiral Akbar | 45 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Lexa | 34 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #3 | hot chick | 13 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | murloc ⭕⃤ | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexa | +5.12 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | hot chick | +2.05 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | TANK DAVIS | -0.05 | 56 | 47 |
| #4 | Admiral Akbar | -0.35 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | murloc ⭕⃤ | -0.52 | 62 | 42 |





