








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 201 | 25% |
| Smokes | 280 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 163 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 173 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $124,637 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murloc ⭕⃤ | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Matt | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | TANK DAVIS | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | iMMoseikki | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | 𝓝𝓘𝓚𝓞 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juoppojeesus | 4 | 0.0412 |
| #2 | TANK DAVIS | 1 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | iMMoseikki | 1 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | murloc ⭕⃤ | 1 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murloc ⭕⃤ | +11.30 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | Matt | +2.63 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | TANK DAVIS | +2.15 | 74 | 50 |
| #4 | hot chick | +0.60 | 64 | 53 |
| #5 | Kennedy | +0.34 | 90 | 64 |





