








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1437 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2733 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1166 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2953 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,306,561 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kart | 46% | 414 |
| #2 | MrCornCob | 45% | 269 |
| #3 | Guuduh | 45% | 257 |
| #4 | moberto | 45% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kart | 46% | 414 |
| #2 | MrCornCob | 45% | 269 |
| #3 | Guuduh | 45% | 257 |
| #4 | moberto | 45% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kart | 28 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | moberto | 23 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | MrCornCob | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Guuduh | 8 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kart | 749 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #2 | MrCornCob | 536 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | moberto | 403 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Guuduh | 202 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moberto | +2.74 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | BeansLegume | -0.07 | 66 | 32 |
| #3 | kart | -0.24 | 49 | 57 |
| #4 | Guuduh | -0.75 | 62 | 43 |
| #5 | MrCornCob | -2.00 | 39 | 50 |





