








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2413 | 67% |
| Smokes | 176 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 775 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 259 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $18,290 of utility $6 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TYLER DURDEN | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Memphis Mud | 42% | 45 |
| #3 | Stephen Gawking | 35% | 23 |
| #4 | qbiz | 33% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TYLER DURDEN | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Memphis Mud | 42% | 45 |
| #3 | Stephen Gawking | 35% | 23 |
| #4 | qbiz | 33% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbiz | 28 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | Memphis Mud | 20 | 0.0216 |
| #3 | Stephen Gawking | 8 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | TYLER DURDEN | 2 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbiz | 108 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Memphis Mud | 30 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | Stephen Gawking | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | TYLER DURDEN | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memphis Mud | +2.66 | 61 | 21 |
| #2 | qbiz | +0.75 | 44 | 39 |
| #3 | TYLER DURDEN | +0.55 | 80 | 18 |
| #4 | moopie | -0.28 | 55 | 37 |
| #5 | Stephen Gawking | -1.15 | 55 | 13 |





