








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 929 | 31% |
| Smokes | 724 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 442 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 876 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,929 of utility $32 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1GHT | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | Krab | 52% | 97 |
| #3 | Sir Teddy | 50% | 121 |
| #4 | i gonna leave | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | うちは マダラ | 48% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Krab | 52% | 97 |
| #3 | Sir Teddy | 50% | 121 |
| #4 | i gonna leave | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | うちは マダラ | 48% | 99 |
| #6 | Stanathan | 48% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Teddy | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | うちは マダラ | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Krab | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Stanathan | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | L1GHT | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | うちは マダラ | 371 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Krab | 196 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Stanathan | 164 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sir Teddy | 131 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | i gonna leave | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Teddy | +2.21 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | L1GHT | +0.72 | 81 | 34 |
| #3 | うちは マダラ | +0.15 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | Krab | -0.05 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | i gonna leave | -0.09 | 78 | 42 |





