








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1308 | 27% |
| Smokes | 920 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1671 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,984 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 539 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Dwayne The Glock Johnson | 63% | 32 |
| #9 | Krab | 62% | 78 |
| #10 | Dooche | 59% | 41 |
| #11 | drunk cal | 55% | 29 |
| #12 | NYAKUZA | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | うちは マダラ | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | drunk cal | 6 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Sir Teddy | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | NYAKUZA | 5 | 0.0205 |
| #5 | Krab | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | うちは マダラ | 300 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Krab | 171 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | poe | 150 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stanathan | 128 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sir Teddy | 111 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poe | +4.25 | 94 | 68 |
| #2 | NYAKUZA | +3.05 | 63 | 65 |
| #3 | Sir Teddy | +2.41 | 82 | 51 |
| #4 | L1GHT | +1.93 | 76 | 38 |
| #5 | drunk cal | +1.54 | 74 | 35 |





