








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1642 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1254 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 867 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1219 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,445 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ComputerGeeK* | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | sqreet | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | MaiOmi | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | yaankz | 61% | 44 |
| #5 | v1trage | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | yaankz | 61% | 44 |
| #5 | v1trage | 60% | 10 |
| #6 | zurrx | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | Spreiyzs | 54% | 13 |
| #8 | WIPSKYio | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaankz | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | ComputerGeeK* | 3 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | zurrx | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | MaiOmi | 2 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | sqreet | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaankz | 136 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | WIPSKYio | 59 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | MaiOmi | 54 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | sqreet | 45 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | zurrx | 41 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ComputerGeeK* | +7.28 | 93 | 68 |
| #2 | proxi | +4.49 | 88 | 56 |
| #3 | v1trage | +2.67 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | yaankz | +2.53 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | WIPSKYio | -0.03 | 62 | 65 |





