








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 529 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 113 | 21% |
| Smokes | 135 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 65 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 216 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,370 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Business Monkey | 37% | 19 |
| #2 | rallerasse06 | 35% | 43 |
| #3 | alprax | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | GENKI | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Business Monkey | 37% | 19 |
| #2 | rallerasse06 | 35% | 43 |
| #3 | alprax | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | GENKI | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GENKI | 13 | 0.0283 |
| #2 | rallerasse06 | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Business Monkey | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | alprax | 1 | 0.0182 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rallerasse06 | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | GENKI | 79 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Business Monkey | 36 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | alprax | 9 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alprax | +4.85 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | GENKI | +0.32 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | Business Monkey | +0.19 | 80 | 46 |
| #4 | rallerasse06 | -1.01 | 42 | 44 |
| #5 | vetj04 | -3.69 | 22 | 24 |





