








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1368 | 32% |
| Smokes | 998 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 804 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1045 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,680 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rallerasse06 | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Business Monkey | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | GENKI | 38% | 37 |
| #4 | Saul Goodman | 31% | 45 |
| #5 | Suzanne Amomba Paillé | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Saul Goodman | 31% | 45 |
| #5 | Suzanne Amomba Paillé | 25% | 16 |
| #6 | Vicke TreKvart KeyDrop.com | 24% | 37 |
| #7 | Kladdiga jerry | 24% | 25 |
| #8 | Vertexboxer | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GENKI | 10 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Kladdiga jerry | 5 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Saul Goodman | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Suzanne Amomba Paillé | 3 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Vertexboxer | 3 | 0.0227 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GENKI | 110 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Saul Goodman | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Vicke TreKvart KeyDrop.com | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Suzanne Amomba Paillé | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | rallerasse06 | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alprax | +2.19 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Vicke TreKvart KeyDrop.com | -0.18 | 63 | 46 |
| #3 | GENKI | -0.28 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | Business Monkey | -1.79 | 85 | 41 |
| #5 | Suzanne Amomba Paillé | -3.34 | 38 | 65 |





