








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3603 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2470 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4632 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2607 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,640,613 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1539 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | conservative | 46 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | Calaksta | 38 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | Rac | 15 | 0.0229 |
| #4 | prism131 | 14 | 0.0149 |
| #5 | EJ | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prism131 | 151 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Calaksta | 133 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rac | 117 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | conservative | 68 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | EJ | 59 | 0.04 | 2 min |





