








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1028 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2858 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3345 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2934 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2554 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,309,805 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 763 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mabe | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | John cat | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | Rac | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | asherz007 | 59% | 56 |
| #5 | Setsuna | 58% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | John cat | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | Rac | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | asherz007 | 59% | 56 |
| #5 | Setsuna | 58% | 263 |
| #6 | MrSquid | 54% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Setsuna | 33 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Rac | 24 | 0.0253 |
| #3 | mabe | 8 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | MrSquid | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | John cat | 5 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Setsuna | 360 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | Rac | 216 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | MrSquid | 164 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | John cat | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | mabe | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mabe | +2.16 | 82 | 48 |
| #2 | Setsuna | +1.47 | 65 | 50 |
| #3 | aquapeek (omw to kfc) 240km/h | +1.38 | 75 | 49 |
| #4 | John cat | +0.85 | 79 | 39 |
| #5 | asherz007 | +0.16 | 84 | 44 |





