








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2999 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2542 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1094 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2097 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $360,116 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | 동그란 | 35% | 177 |
| #9 | 很笨の外星人 | 31% | 78 |
| #10 | 小恩 | 29% | 70 |
| #11 | 21岁开始赌,直到赢下你 | 28% | 64 |
| #12 | Hayone | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | 572 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | 𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓲 𝓰𝔂𝓪𝓽𝓽 ✅ | 263 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | STYLISH HUNTER | 232 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | 皓皓困了 | 206 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | 동그란 | 165 | 0.05 | 4 min |





