








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 271 | 22% |
| Smokes | 573 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 66 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 306 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,857 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | a1 | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | Chang | 64% | 50 |
| #4 | ali | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | Cuban_Immigrant51 | 60% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | a1 | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | Chang | 64% | 50 |
| #4 | ali | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | Cuban_Immigrant51 | 60% | 43 |
| #6 | Raf | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chang | 11 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Cuban_Immigrant51 | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | ali | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Raf | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Goose | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ali | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Cuban_Immigrant51 | 67 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Chang | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Goose | 27 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | a1 | 20 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chang | +3.95 | 63 | 49 |
| #2 | Goose | +1.86 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | Cuban_Immigrant51 | +0.44 | 35 | 47 |
| #4 | jerome | +0.36 | 52 | 34 |
| #5 | ali | +0.05 | 52 | 58 |





