








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 154 | 45% |
| Smokes | 44 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 105 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 41 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $54,100 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jerome | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | ali | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Chang | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | a1 | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | james johnson | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | a1 | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | james johnson | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | Cuban_Immigrant51 | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | james johnson jr. | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | ashikrai | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuban_Immigrant51 | 4 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Chang | 3 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | jerome | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | ali | 1 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | james johnson | 1 | 0.0244 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chang | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #2 | ali | 18 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #3 | Cuban_Immigrant51 | 16 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | james johnson jr. | 15 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #5 | jerome | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | james johnson | +4.34 | 71 | 30 |
| #2 | Chang | +1.51 | 68 | 35 |
| #3 | Goose | +0.94 | 73 | 48 |
| #4 | james johnson jr. | +0.40 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | jerome | -1.46 | 50 | 42 |





