








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1358 | 47% |
| Smokes | 174 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 881 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,009 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuhtte Salming | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | FrigolitJanne | 53% | 81 |
| #3 | 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕒𝕟 :) | 53% | 59 |
| #4 | I hate this game | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Trikarn | 50% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕒𝕟 :) | 53% | 59 |
| #4 | I hate this game | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Trikarn | 50% | 58 |
| #6 | Homeless | 44% | 99 |
| #7 | LIBAM | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIBAM | 38 | 0.0637 |
| #2 | Homeless | 36 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | FrigolitJanne | 26 | 0.0180 |
| #4 | Trikarn | 26 | 0.0261 |
| #5 | 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕒𝕟 :) | 15 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕒𝕟 :) | 145 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | LIBAM | 133 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | FrigolitJanne | 104 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Homeless | 64 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Trikarn | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕒𝕟 :) | +5.94 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | I hate this game | +5.49 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | Homeless | +5.41 | 83 | 35 |
| #4 | Trikarn | +2.96 | 63 | 23 |
| #5 | Nuhtte Salming | +2.82 | 80 | 38 |





