








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 34% |
| Smokes | 387 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 418 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 581 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,158 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕒𝕟 :) | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | SHREK | 53% | 81 |
| #5 | LIBAM | 53% | 36 |
| #6 | Smör 500g | 51% | 105 |
| #7 | Trikarn | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHREK | 38 | 0.0271 |
| #2 | Smör 500g | 33 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | LIBAM | 33 | 0.0557 |
| #4 | Trikarn | 24 | 0.0431 |
| #5 | Nuhtte Salming | 14 | 0.0433 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHREK | 114 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | LIBAM | 114 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕒𝕟 :) | 99 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Smör 500g | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Trikarn | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smör 500g | +6.01 | 82 | 35 |
| #2 | 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕒𝕟 :) | +5.93 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | Nuhtte Salming | +4.08 | 78 | 28 |
| #4 | LIBAM | +3.41 | 65 | 36 |
| #5 | Trikarn | +2.05 | 68 | 30 |





