








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 333 | 12% |
| Smokes | 828 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 904 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 718 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,510 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2 iq | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | pipocas | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | SL1NKY | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | ChAoS | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | sL1fer | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | qq | 44% | 48 |
| #7 | NeXx0 | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | carl1to | 32% | 25 |
| #9 | chiraQ | 14% | 7 |
| #10 | EmyNinja | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChAoS | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | pipocas | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | qq | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | carl1to | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | 2 iq | 1 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carl1to | 98 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | qq | 31 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | ChAoS | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | pipocas | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | sL1fer | 23 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SL1NKY | +4.94 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | chiraQ | +2.94 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | pipocas | +2.38 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | NeXx0 | +2.15 | 91 | 59 |
| #5 | 2 iq | +1.38 | 89 | 60 |





