








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3993 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2401 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2193 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,979,902 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | röökiluukku | 53 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | kurre | 29 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Superroisto | 21 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | HighPie🌿💨🥧 | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | TERH0 | 8 | 0.0040 |





