








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 617 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 529 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10324 | 25% |
| Smokes | 14756 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 13629 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3395 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,262,617 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ren | 56% | 101 |
| #2 | Hurb | 50% | 234 |
| #3 | 🖤Dreamerr🖤 | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | BotMac | 49% | 142 |
| #5 | McHenny | 47% | 950 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BotMac | 49% | 142 |
| #5 | McHenny | 47% | 950 |
| #6 | SqueeK ❤ | 47% | 481 |
| #7 | McHigh | 40% | 236 |
| #8 | McDREAMY1_1 | 40% | 324 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McHenny | 63 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Hurb | 48 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | McDREAMY1_1 | 28 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | McHigh | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | SqueeK ❤ | 17 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McHenny | 3059 | 0.16 | 91 min |
| #2 | McDREAMY1_1 | 1635 | 0.25 | 43 min |
| #3 | SqueeK ❤ | 889 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #4 | BotMac | 680 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #5 | Ren | 307 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hurb | +5.96 | 91 | 46 |
| #2 | Ren | +2.68 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | BotMac | +1.79 | 46 | 59 |
| #4 | 🖤Dreamerr🖤 | +1.19 | 85 | 56 |
| #5 | SqueeK ❤ | +0.90 | 42 | 56 |





